Magic and Mayhem: Fire, Brimstone and Chocolate Cake (Kindle Worlds Novella) Read online

  Shrieking, he disappeared behind a bin, his tail puffed out like he’d stuck a claw in an electrical socket.

  “The instant I have to get skyclad, sunshine, is the point I relocate your eyeballs to your asshole,” I called after him. “See how you like watching your own business for eternity.”

  There was the rustle of paper from behind the bin. “Oh, would you look at this? There’s an exception for those of demon nature.”

  I chuckled and reached deep within myself, searching for the part of my soul I’d always ignored. The little mass was buried so far down it had always been easy to ignore. Over the years it had gotten smaller and smaller, until I wasn’t even sure it was there anymore. But I found it, the tiniest little kernel. As soon as I touched it, though, it flared to life, surging up from the pit of my soul to fill me like hellfire, but not.

  “Maps and compass I need not,

  To find an unknown dad

  Guide me on the path I need,

  Before this place makes me sad.”

  Chapter 4

  The spell led us to a town in the middle of nowhere. Sliding sideways around the last corner into town, I didn’t get a chance to look at the sign, but it made no difference. The place was… well, to say it was a dump would be generous.

  I pulled the bike, a hellfire construct, to a stop, booted feet down, and looked around. The place was dull and drab with an ominous aura. E-dub jumped off the back of the bike where he’d been riding, wind in his fur, with a very feline chirrup.

  “Looks like the sort of place nice young men chop up their grannies and keep them in the freezer, doesn’t it?” he commented, looking around hopefully. I couldn’t blame him, he was demon born and a cat. Both are assholes. Cats might even have the edge on assholishness.

  I took a deep breath and looked around. Even if my hellfire was kinda out of commission, my other demon-y senses were operating just fine.

  “Nope. No stench of evil. Whatever’s going on with this place, it’s just mortal stuff,” I commented quietly as we approached what appeared to be a store. It was just as drab as the rest of the place, the building even seeming to sag in depression like the life had been leached out of it. Frowning, I opened my senses again, searching for any of the paranormal creatures I knew could suck the life of their victims, but came up clean.

  Perhaps the place was just that depressing.

  Hand on the door, I pushed it open. A bell tinkled, warning whoever was inside that there were new customers.

  Which was when the stench hit me.

  “Urrrgnnngggh,” I muttered under my breath and tried to breathe through my ears. Rot. I smelled rot and decay. E-dub made a disgusted cheep beside me and disappeared in a swirl of shadow. The next moment I felt him settle across the back of my jacket like a cape.

  You’re a wanker. You know that? I thought toward him, twisting to catch sight of the back of my jacket in the mirror. It now sported a vivid new hellcat design “stitched” into the leather. Shadow claws tightened around my ribs in response and I growled in warning as I ventured farther into the store.

  If I’d thought the place was bad outside, in here was even worse. A dingy sign above one of the shelves, the rusted chains indicating that it had been dragged inside and dumped when they’d broken, announced it as the general store, but the town name had been scrubbed out. The word “Assjacket” was painted in its place.

  Assjacket. Figured.

  The smell came from the display at the front, near the window. Rotten fruit cozied it up with manky veggies in a decomposing delight for the senses. Fascinated, I watched a fly land, stiffen, and then slowly keel over. Dead. Great, even the flies couldn’t stand the place.

  I smiled at the small woman behind the counter, who gave me a bored look and scooted down one of the two aisles. Aside from the delightful produce by the window, the shelves were sparsely stocked, the only foodstuffs available either canned or…

  I cast a glance to the back of the shop toward an upright freezer so old it had to be an antique. As though it had registered my attention, it whined loudly and rattled. Packets were vaguely visible through the dingy glass but no way was I going anywhere near them.

  Lifting a can, I was about to check the date but spotted something scuttling away and slammed it back in place quickly with a shudder. Spiders. I freaking hated spiders. So much so that all the spider-variant demons had been ordered by my uncle to change form, or banished to the outer reaches of hell so I didn’t have to see them.

  Heading to the front of the store, I put two of the least ratty looking cans on the counter and smiled at the cashier. “Hey. I’m new in town and I’m looking for someone… guy called Rafe Amatore. Any idea where I might find him?”

  Her expression didn’t waver as she rang up my purchases. Two cans of ancient custard. I shuddered.

  “Never heard of him. That’s four fifty.” She held her hand out.

  “Really? I was told he was a local.” I counted the change out quickly, picking up my cans. One rattled unpleasantly.

  “Nope. He’s not.” Undoing her apron, she dumped it on the counter and disappeared down the aisles without another word. I watched her retreating back for a moment. Huh, obviously our conversation was over then.

  Hurrying quickly out the front of the store, I dumped the cans in the bin outside. I was hungry, yeah… I’m a demon. I’m always hungry… but not that hungry.

  Which presented a problem. If I was hungry, E-dub would be as well and the last thing I needed was a hangry hellcat on my hands. Dinosaurs. Need I say more?

  “Find anything interesting?” E-dub peeled off the back of my jacket with a pop and landed on his feet. This time he’d made himself smaller, like normal cat size, to trot beside me. And when I say trot, I mean he did the whole twine-through-the-ankles cat thing and tried to trip me up.

  “Only about a thousand health violations,” I replied, doing the cat-owner two-step down the main street. Halfway down, and just before I was about to launch my furry “friend” (and I do use that term loosely) off the end of my boot, my nose twitched.

  I stopped. Dead.

  “Oh my grandfather, what is that delicious smell?” I breathed, looking around and trying to isolate the source of the wonderful scent. Pancakes… and cake… my nose twitched again, my stomach getting in on the act with a loud growl. Beside me, E-dub had gone stock still, his head rotating around on his neck as he, too, tried to work out where the smell was coming from.

  I slapped him around the back of the head. “Act natural,” I hissed. “Cats don’t do that!”

  I’ll admit, smacking him on the back of the head gave me a small glow of satisfaction. I was so going to hell… okay, back to hell… for that one.

  “Over there.” His tail twitched to the left and we set off, following our noses. The town got better the farther away from the main street we got. Passing a cement bear with half its head missing, we ventured down a side street and stopped dead.

  The smell was coming from the most dilapidated building I’d ever seen. Crumbling was not the word. It looked like a stiff breeze would send it tumbling over.

  Warily, I approached it, the hellcat on my heels, and pushed the door open carefully.

  The sight that met my eyes made me blink in surprise. Warmth and light music, along with that delicious smell, welcomed us. Pushing the door open farther, I leaned back to cast a quick look at the crumbling exterior. Yet, inside? It was…

  “Magic.” I breathed.

  It had to be. It was the only thing that explained the tumbledown appearance of the outside with this inside. The decor was utterly delightful—a cross between an old-fashioned English tea-room and what I’d always imagined a grandmother’s kitchen would look like. (I don’t have a grandmother, at least on my mom’s side, just a grandfather I’d never met, and likely never would.)

  The tables were all heavy, dark wood covered with shabby-chic tablecloths and mismatched napkins. Delicate floral tea cups on saucers sat with shin
ing cutlery on doilies and… my gaze wandered farther and I squeaked in delight, spotting the biggest chocolate cake I’d ever seen by the counter.

  The door banged shut behind me as I stepped inside. Instantly, I found myself the focus of attention for most of the room—eyes narrowed, gazes suspicious but not hostile. I tried a small wave and a smile.

  “Hey. New in town, got any recommendations?” I asked as a woman in an apron made her way over. I focused on her, ignoring the weird looks from the rest of the clientele.

  Most of them were Shifters, their energy unmistakable. How much they knew about demons, I didn’t know. Real demons that was, not the dumb mutts we usually sent up to the surface. If I could tell what they were, could they do the same for me?

  The waitress stopped in front of me, and her nose twitched. I held my breath, convinced I was discovered, but then she offered a small smile.

  “Witch?” she asked, and I all but hugged her with relief.

  “Yeah,” I nodded. “Just got in. Nice work with the town. Must send the mortals scuttling like their asses are on fire. I see you have chocolate cake…”

  She chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, they don’t tend to stay long and we sure do, best in the area. Table for one…” She stopped as the door banged behind me again. Her gaze slid over my shoulder and she gasped, her eyes widening. I sighed, feeling E-dub’s familiar presence. What the hell was the hellcat up to now?

  I turned.

  And did a freaking double-take.

  E-dub stood behind me, and I didn’t mean on four little furry paws. For the first time in all the years I’d known him, E-dub was in human form… I didn’t even know he had one.

  I mean, I knew hellcats could shift to any form they wanted to, but they’re not like Shifters who have both a human and an animal side. With hell-creatures there is no human side. They’re just human-shaped. Mostly. I tilted my head, catching the reflection of hellfire in his eyes as he looked at me through bright green feline-set eyes.

  He. Was. Gorgeous.

  Six foot… two maybe, and ripped, with long fiery hair over his shoulders, he radiated danger and sexual energy. (Okay, that could have been the head-to-toe leather, but who’s counting?) He lifted his arm to rake his hair back off his face in a shampoo-commercial-worthy movement and looked around. There was a gasp and a dull thud behind me. Obviously the peanut gallery had noticed as well.

  I didn’t blame them. He was hot. I’d do him for sure. Maybe. If I didn’t know what was under the sexy skin-suit.

  “Oh, put it away, lover boy,” I hissed, turning to smile at the waitress. “Table for two, chickie-dee. Can we get two slices of chocolate cake, a diet soda and…” I side-eyed E-dub, who was winking and making suggestive movements with his hips toward a woman on a nearby table. I reached up and slapped him upside the back of his head. Two in one day, I was on a roll. “A milk for my brother here… I’m sorry about him. Somewhere there’s a village sadly lacking an idiot.”

  If possible, her eyes widened even more and latched onto E-dub, who chuckled. The voice that emerged from his lips was deep and decadent as the chocolate cake I hoped would soon be on its way down into my stomach.

  “She’s always been a joker.” He smiled, moving out of the way of the door as the bell rang again, announcing another new arrival.

  “Errr… we have a table by the window free,” the woman all but squeaked, edging around us with eyes still wide. “If you’d like to take a seat, I’ll send someone over with your order.”

  We headed over and took a seat at the indicated table, the little waitress watching us all the time.

  “She’s ogling my ass,” E-dub rumbled, somehow managing to lounge on the tiny wooden chair. My first instinct was to slouch and prop my boots on the chair opposite but something stopped me. Like the chintz and shabby-chic were the eyes of the grandmother I didn’t have, chiding me to sit up straight and be presentable.

  Weird.

  I shrugged. “Well, put a body like that in tight leather, you’re gonna attract some attention.” My gaze sharpened on him, warningly. “Where did you get it from? Please don’t say you just stole it…”

  He chuckled, the sound more a purr than one of amusement. “I did, but not recently. It belonged to a Viking a couple of hundred years ago… he wasn’t using it anymore, so I liberated it.”

  I shook my head, eyes closed for a moment. Only a hellcat could consider snatching a body “liberating” it. “It must be older than dirt if it was from a Viking,” I pointed out. “They were like, ninth century or something?”

  He shrugged, a one-shouldered movement that drew another sigh from the peanut gallery. Great. We were supposed to be flying under the radar.

  The waitress returned with our order and I stopped worrying about E-dub’s apparent ability to keep a body in storage for centuries and focused on the decadent delights on the plate in front of me.

  Chocolate cake is hard to come by in hell, but occasionally the mom will bring it when she stops by. I think sometimes that’s why I still love her. I don’t want to give up my cake supply.

  Grabbing my fork, I dug in. The instant the first mouthful hit my tongue I groaned. A pleased purr from the other side of the table joined the sound.

  “So good,” I mumbled, my eyes half-closed in bliss as I chewed. Conversation ceased as the hellcat and I concentrated on something far more important than our mission—food.

  I looked up as someone approached our table, expecting it to be the waitress again. Instead a guy dropped down into the chair I’d been eyeing to prop my boots on and my jaw hit the deck.

  My fork paused halfway to my mouth. If I’d thought E-dub was hot in his human form, this guy blew him away. Hot did not describe him… he was hawt, with a capital pfffffwooaaar. Lust, pure and simple, surged through me and I put my fork down. A breath in and I almost moaned. He smelled so good… like warm summer days and the freshness of the wind. Under it, I recognized another scent. He was a werewolf.

  Oh yeah, I am so a dog person. Maybe. For a night. Or three.

  “Heard you’re looking for Rafe Amatore…” He smiled, a brief flash of white, slightly sharper than human teeth. The expression was so cheeky and sexy, my ovaries whimpered in response.

  “I might be,” I hedged, catching sight of E-dub eyeing my plate and its half-eaten cake with greed. When he reached out, thinking I wasn’t looking, I moved, slamming my hand down on his.

  “Touch it and die, furball,” I threatened in a low voice.

  E-dub huffed and grabbed his milk, draining it in one long swallow. He plopped it down on the table, glaring at the man in front of us. For a moment, the wolf and the cat had a minor staring contest that had nothing to do with the fact they were different species and everything to do with what was between their legs.

  I kicked E-dub’s ankle under the table and gave him a look. If this guy had information, then we needed it. Perhaps I should… question him… thoroughly. Naked, of course. Just to be sure.

  E-dub huffed again and slumped in his seat, folding his arms.

  The werewolf grinned, looking between the two of us. “You guys siblings? You can really tell.”

  E-dub and I shared a look. We weren’t related in any way other than the fact we were both hellborn, but… whatever. I’d pretend to be grandfather himself’s sister if it got me the information I needed.

  “Something like that,” I replied and then smiled. “So… Rafe Amatore. Was told he’d be hereabouts. You know him?”

  Sexy wolf-boy leaned back in his chair and spread his hands. “You could say that. What can I do you for?” His grin made another appearance, a lock of curly hair falling over his forehead as he looked me up and down. “Although, I’d just do you, sweetheart, happily… and all night long.”

  E-dub curled his lip back from his teeth. I kicked him under the table again.

  No way. This was so not my dad. Fate could not be that cruel (actually, I’d met the bitch once when she was meeting with my uncle and
yeah… she totally can be). My grin froze into a rictus for a moment before logic kicked in. This guy was a wolf, and my dad was a warlock… the two never mixed, that much I did know, even though I’d been in hell all my life… ergo, this wasn’t my dad.

  So, why was he pretending to be?

  Relief surged through me, stealing my strength for a moment. I shoveled more cake in to counteract it. My appetite seemed to have gone through the damn roof since I got topside. I just had to hope my metabolism had increased to match it or I was going back down rather curvier than I’d arrived.

  “Heard you’re a healer.” I eyed his dark blond hair. No red in it whatsoever. “And I have a bit of a problem I need some help with.”

  His eyes darkened, an edge of amber around the irises, as he leaned forward. “Darlin’, I’ll help you with anything you need. Him,” he tilted his head toward E-dub, “I’d have to charge for.”

  E-dub snorted but thankfully his mouth was full of cake so he couldn’t reply. He was, in fact, shoveling it in so fast I was surprised he could actually breathe. Hellcats have a thing about chocolate cake. Who knew?

  “So…” He smiled and edged his seat closer to me. “What do you need help with, beautiful?”

  I dropped my gaze and managed to pull a blush from somewhere. It was an act. Come on, I’m a freaking demon. I haven’t been innocent for years.

  “Well, it’s a bit delicate.” I darted a glance around the not-quite crowded but buzzing diner. It was obvious a lot of the customers knew both each other and the staff. There was an awful lot of friendly conversation and banter going on between tables. “Can we go somewhere a bit more… private?”

  E-dub stopped chewing to look at me, his mouth half open as he spoke mind to mind. “You are so not doing the nasty with a freaking dog!”

  I bit back my sigh and the temptation to blast him with hellfire. I didn’t want to destroy the kitchen that had created the wonderful chocolate cake. And the people. Yeah, mainly the people. Cake was a secondary consideration… honest.